Rock Me Amadeus: A Falco Pilgrimage in Vienna

I don't even have anything pithy or ironic to say here. I just love Falco.

If you were alive in 1985, Falco was inescapable. “Rock Me Amadeus” blasted from radios, MTV ran the video on relentless loop, and suddenly a song about Mozart — sung by a powdered-wig-wearing Austrian — was everywhere.

For me, a kid in Ohio, this was a revelation. Sure, my favorite pop stars (Madonna, Prince, Michael Jackson) were theatrical, but Falco was something else. I didn’t understand all the German lyrics, but they sounded familiar, like my German-born mother. The rhythm was somewhere between rap and cabaret but catchy as hell.

Also I thought he was hot.

That fixation stuck. When Falco died in a car accident in the Dominican Republic in February 1998, I was working at The Post at Ohio University and persuaded my editor to let me write Falco’s obituary. (That likely marked the first — and last — appearance of an Austrian pop star in our student newspaper.)

So when I visited Vienna for the Christmas markets last month, I knew what I had to do. I created my own unofficial Falco tour — a pilgrimage to the places where Johann “Hans” Hölzel lived, performed, and became the only Austrian artist to ever top the Billboard Hot 100.

And I’ll be honest: This side quest started as kind of a joke, but by the end, I was 100% a Falconatic. (Falcoholic?) An even bigger fan.

The Apartment

From 1974 to 1982, Falco lived at Ziegelofengasse 37 in Vienna’s 5th district, a sort of experimental lab for young Hans Hölzel. He was a Vienna conservatory dropout, punk bassist, and an artist tinkering with rap and rock in this apartment that used to belong to his grandparents. And this is where “Der Kommissar” was born.

The apartment building itself is ordinary, with just a modest plaque affixed to the side. A few steps away you’ll find Zum Alten Fassl, a traditional Austrian pub where Falco reportedly hung out.

Traveler tip: The 5th district is refreshingly non-touristy. Wander Margaretenstraße and the surrounding side streets for a mix of indie shops, small galleries, and neighborhood cafés that feel more local than other districts.

The Falco Stairs

Following his death, the city officially renamed this staircase the Falcostiege (Falco Stairs) in Falco’s honor, and I’m not sure why. There’s nothing grand or dramatic about the staircase — it’s just a set of public stairs leading to the Kettenbrückengasse subway stop.

But maybe that’s why? The space is used daily by locals walking dogs, hauling groceries, running errands, so the stairs are just as much of a fixture here as Falco himself once was.

Traveler tip: While you’re at the Falcostiege, don’t miss the Naschmarkt, Vienna’s largest and most famous open-air market. It has existed in some form since the late 18th century and now is a long sprawl of cafes, imported goods, and food stalls. There’s also an excellent flea market on Saturday mornings.

Schönbrunn Palace

The video for “Rock Me Amadeus” was filmed at Schönbrunn Palace, the sprawling Baroque summer residence of the Habsburgs. Falco took Vienna’s most sacred imperial symbol and made it the backdrop for a New Wave dance party.

You can visit Schönbrunn any day of the week, and you should. The palace is magnificent, the gardens are enormous, and if you time it right, you can stand in the exact spots where Falco performed and feel the weight of history. (Well, pop culture history, anyway.)

Traveler tip: Buy tickets online to skip lines. The gardens are free and worth the walk up to the Gloriette, which offers one of the best views in Vienna.

Café Hawelka

Falco was a regular at Café Hawelka, a legendary coffeehouse for artists in the 1st district. Andy Warhol and Arthur Miller both passed through here too.

On Feb. 19, 1987, Hawelka hosted Falco’s 30th birthday party, and a 30-kilo cake was served. (That’s 66 pounds!) At some point during the evening, the hired magician performed a card trick. When it was over, the ace of hearts had somehow migrated to the ceiling.

It’s still there. Over time, the card absorbed decades of coffeehouse smoke and now matches the room’s warm, nicotine-brown patina.

Traveler tip: Cash only. Expect a wait, and just accept it.

Falco’s Restaurant-Bar-Club

Falco’s Restaurant-Bar-Club, also located in the 1st district, is part-restaurant, part-museum. The walls are packed with memorabilia: gold records, posters, photos, and that unmistakable Falco stare from nearly every angle.

The food is solidly Austrian — schnitzel, goulash, apfelstrudel — but you’re here for the atmosphere, not necessarily the cuisine.

Traveler tip: Make a reservation. Sit at the bar if possible. Afterward, you’re within a short walk of the Hofburg’s courtyards, the State Opera, and the grand Ringstrasse, where palaces and museums line the ring like a row of stage sets.

In Memoriam

Credit: Falco.net

If Falco Bar is the public shrine, Marchfelderhof Restaurant in Deutsch-Wagram is the intimate memorial. Located just outside Vienna proper, this eclectic Austrian restaurant has preserved Falco’s favorite private booth as a shrine to the star, complete with photographs and personal mementos.

Practical tip: Deutsch-Wagram is about 20 kilometers northeast of Vienna. Call ahead to make sure they’re open and to reserve a table.

Falco’s Final Resting Place

Falco is buried at Vienna’s Zentralfriedhof, a cemetery so large and beautiful that it also functions as a park. Beethoven, Brahms, Schubert, and Johann Strauss II are all here. Falco rests among them, in the honorary graves section.

Traveler tip: Pick up a map, because the place is enormous. Weekday mornings are quiet; Sundays are livelier and filled with locals.

Vienna Tips

Getting Around: Vienna’s public transit is a dream. Multi-day passes are a good value with unlimited rides on the U-Bahn, trams, and buses. Google Maps works perfectly for routing.

When to Go: Winter is magical (the lights! the Christmas markets!), but spring and fall have better weather for walking. Avoid mid-August when half the city is on vacation and everything’s closed.

Final Tip: If you’re looking for a Falco souvenir, I highly recommend the Quack Me Amadeus rubber duck from AustroDucks, found at most gift shops.